i tot i was back to normal. back to the old xueying. but im jus wrong. totally wrong. im jus bluffing myself all the while. making all those empty promises to myself. it is jus so hard for mi to jus let it go. im bluffing myself and im also bluffing other ppl. i have to pretend to dun care the things that i care so much. making myself suffer. some ppl say it is jus an habit and will change as time goes by. but now is jus the worse part. wad shld i do to make mi face the reality? face the truth and everything? to trust a person that dun even care abt u is extremely hard. in the whole suitation that i dun even have a chance to say no but have to accept it and i was told that both of us was left with no choice. i dunno how long more i can withstand this kind of suffering. i dun wan to give up on something that it meant so much to mi but do i still have a chance to say no?
mine existance is so fake. without u, mine world is totally different. but to you, with or without mi, it jus doesnt matter at all.
