Sunday, September 30, 2007
tired~superb tired! haha.. jus wake up nia.. after 25 hours not sleeping, is a straight away KO. haiz.. cant make myself wake up to go running. tml also cant go. still got staff meeting..
jus finish my dinner. first meal today. =D
dun eat so much.. can jian fei.. hohoho..
think later will go back and faint again. superb tired. hahaa.. but i love it. the way i lead my life
ytd got one person ask me how i am recently. happy? better than before?
and i replied. okay lor.. cant say better or worse. but satisfied. and it shld be enough. cos it is totally another way of living my life. starting is so xing ku. cos u have to leave someone who u care so much and have to accept the fact that he's not going to care and be there for u anymore. im someone who dun like changes. but now changes have been made. the only thing i can do is to adapt to it.
feel like watching movie!! long time nv watch liao!
tags replied
thanks angelia, devil, andrea and fatin!! love u guys lots!!
im back!! jus back home since ytd afternoon. well.. has been out more almost 24 hours!! and i still have strength to blog.
well. not really tiring day.. i still wan to go running and sing k box!! but cant find ppl to go.. haiz..
ytd left hse at 1 plus, brought a bag when i jus look at a glance! omg. so impulsive de.. haha.. is the glossy shoulder bag that i wanted! YES! one more thing on my wishlist is complete.
meet fy at city hall. at first is meeting fy and francis de. but that pig dun wan to wake up.. hahas.. lol.. so only me and fy went to buy donuts and help him buy. as usual, we went to suntec instead of raffles cos the Q is short and service is better. and as usual again, we Q for less than 15 mins. somemore is on a sat afternoon -___-"
me and fy went to play abit of the capsule thing and we headed down cathay. both of us working a 5 to 1 shift.
and me is level 1. fy is level 6. always seperate us so far.. hahahs..
today's crowd is abit unpredictable. so ended up me and fy worked until 3. 10 hours!! hahas..
hmmm.. actually we plan to eat supper de.. so me and fy worked till 1, then francis work till 3. so thinking of we go and watch movie first, then we eat supper from 3, then take cab home.. but dunno wad happen 3 of us cab at 3.. hahas.. but we still get our supper!! =D
sad.. desmond is going amk le.. haiz.. but manage to take photo with him =D although i look abit weird here.. hahas..
like i grow fat like tat.. more running for me pls!!!!
i didnt see him for 28 days. thats the longest ever.i didnt msg him for 16 days. thats the longest ever.he didnt reply me for 22 days. thats the longest ever.and we broke up for 47 days.xueying dunno really sounds alright. but nothing trigger me today.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
tiring day.okay.. today is another tiring day. jus got home like 1 hours plus ago. but this week better. cos i still got energy to blog. last week send report liao i faint la.. too tired.another 18 hours of working. so happie that ive made it.tomolo Queuing for donut factory again? hahaa.. dunno wad happen to me these few weeks. but tml is fy wan to Q for crystal de.. how come nobody Q for me de.. so sad.. so sad .. lol..tml starting work at 5. level 1. haiz..xueying is really tired. physically and mentally. especially mentally. physically is becos im still sick ba. whereas mentally is i cant keep my mind still thinking. can it jus stop thinking for a while and let me have a rest?hope he is doing well.
Friday, September 28, 2007
1 month!!woo!! finally one month liao!! hahas.. my attachment la.. thot wad.. lol.. -___-" lame right. hahas.
still got 2 more months to go!! but gotten tis month pay liao.. so..so.. ppl!! can start asking me out again!!! more shoppings, more kbox sessions, movies and MORE outings!!! =D
counting down still got 1 more hour before i ended 1 month of attachment.. cos now still not counted yet.. hahas.. but today is a 18 hours of work!! now is only half of it gone. later will be 8pm to 3am at the cathay. -_-"
jiayou!! dunno work so hard for wad lor.. haha.. but if now ask me dun do anything jus stay at home rot i cant leh.. hahas.. think my life is fated to be so ming ku de. lol.. sick still must work! =X
oh ya. this week still haven go running at all la!! sian. must find sometime to go!! if not stop for one week then the mood of running will be GONE!
now im like commited to attachment, going out with frenz, chatting using emails, msn, phone, cathay and running!!! hahas..
live life to the fullest!!!
at night still have to write report for heekiah. zzz
thanks for ppl who care for me when im sick! =D although i'm still sick. -___-"
tags replied~
jonna* when u wan to go? hougang stadium? hahas.. but abit far from ur hse hor.. hmmm.. can run after my attachment. but dunno will it be abit too late for u? tata =D be happie worz!!
still sick!i didnt see him for 26 days. thats the longest ever.
i didnt msg him for 14 days. thats the longest ever.
he didnt reply me for 20 days. thats the longest ever.
and we broke up for 45 days.
xueying sounds alright. nothing trigger me today.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
sian~wanted to go running today de!!! but was raining whole and last min cancel le.. sad.. this week still haven run at all.. -_-""tml is fri! and my supervisor is not coming!! but she already told me wad im going to do tml le.. another busy day for me. 9am to 3am again. and im still sick. hope to get well soon!some photos i took at office =X
think tml might have more pic. lol.. kidding la..
frequent blogger.omg!! jus realise how frequent i blog nowadays.. like confirm everyday will blog. and all is long long post. hahas. cos at office the only things that in front of u is computer lor..
jus read finish all my previous post. realise how different im from the past till now. totally changed. last time i always post my sch things. sch work. sch projects. then post about sad things. i really never blog abt the happy things that i do with him. that was very sad. no use regretting. haiz.
and that time i was those kind of very sch orientated person. everything i blog is sch sch sch.. not much on other things. that was weird la.. now totally changed into another person. i still wonder am i the one who post those entries. lol..
hey ppl! jus get ready to noe abt the new xueying. things will be different! =D
took photos with my attachment colleagues.. but is not my last day la.. i still got 2 month plus to go!!! hahas.. gim, jasmine, jerene, jooli, ME! i look abit weird hor.. hahas..
im sick!and it sucks! i dun like the feeling of falling sick!! yucks.. cant do lots of thing. and once a person is sick, he or she will be more fragile. like i always last time. argg.. faster get well pls!!
okay. is my same same old illness. im that kind of person who will get sorethroat very easily. thats why i dun like to eat chocolate. cos once i eat, thats it. u can see me dun like to tok..
one illness led to another, once i have a sorethroat, next will be cough and fever! cough is already here and can predict fever is coming!! omg!! so usually when i got a slight sorethroat, i will start to eat medicine for sorethroat, strepsils, drink salt water (he used to taught me) to prevent it getting worse!! sometimes it works sometimes it dun. lol.. this time it doesnt works. cos i can feel my body getting weaker. sian.
morning was raining so heavily la.. i was sleeping so soundly when my mum called. she said" gal u sick arh.. then dun go work lor.." i was so tempted la.. even though im really sick. but u noe how troublesome is that when u are at attachment instead of sch? cos in sch u can jus mia. but attachment cant!! u must at least produce a MC and must inform ur supervisor and liason officer. sian. the thought of it makes me dun wan to MC liao. then can u imagine if i MC today then tml still have to work? that one is sian to the max liao.. hahahs..
but i was late again!! i really dun meant to be late de.. but the bus driver. dotx dotx dotx. was too considerate le~ even his bus is super super super pack, he will stop at every stop and try to get as many ppl in the bus as possible. okay. that was very considerate but end up can say alot of ppl in the bus is late la!! haiz.. -___-"
but today here also alot of ppl late. maybe because of the heavy rain. then the traffic confirm jam de.. hope later evening dun rain! cos got running. hope after the run my body will recover. cos if u sweat more easy to recover right? haha.. i also dunno. is jus i dun wan to ruin the plan of every thurs is a RUNNING DAY.
i like always change my song leh.. now i feel like changing again!! okay. my blog skin doesnt suit a noisy song. like suit those romantic romantic de.. hahah.. how about rainie's song?
i didnt see him for 25 days. thats the longest ever. i didnt msg him for 13 days. thats the longest ever. he didnt reply me for 19 days. thats the longest ever. and we broke up for 44 days. xueying sounds alright. nothing trigger me today.
yeah!! finally changed my blogskin!! i used that one for dunno how many donkey years la!!
jus wan to change another feeling when im blogging!!
hmmm.. thinking of using which one think very long sia.. haha.. today dunno why my bro still haven come home yet.. think still at work ba.. so i can use com!! hahas..
well.. show u ppl something when do at attachment.. =)
before and after =)
then show u ppl my new pet =)
pooh is szesing de.
the last pic is took by fy de =) so innocent la.. hahas..
okay.. finally can blog about today thing le.. hahas.. jus went to amk with szesing.. jus went to eat dinner and tok abit. =) brought a ring also. =) and eat mos for dinner.
tml is thursday!! running day!! yeah.. aim: more than 11 rounds. dunno can reach or not =X
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
jus came to noe one story of another person. who noes wad is independent. maybe now is only wad she think she is but her spirit keeps one moving.
no use blaming who fault is that and pin anymore hopes.
wad he has given me, is ENOUGH already. no matter is the good things or bad things.
if i ever gets emo or upset again, i will return to that story and i will be able to stand up.
can say im consider fortunate. he didnt use any words to hurt me. he might chose to leave me, leaving me all by myself but he noes that i will be able to get up. it is jus a matter of time only.
he chose to leave me, maybe it might be the best for both of us.
he cant commit anything to me at this moment because he wan freedom.
i need someone to commit to me as i need care and concern.
i used to blame him for avoiding me, asking him he wan to avoid till when? but now maybe all the while he has been making the right choice. cos i still cant let it go. and he knew it. so if he continue keep in close contact with me, the more im not going to carry on my life on myself.
ive said im still waiting. but it will be another form of waiting. its not waiting for us to be back as the same as before. jus waiting we will be seeing each other in the near future and dun regret on the past decisions that we have made.
he is not replaceable. he is one and only. there's only one of him. and he occupies my mind from 03 January 07 to 15 august 07. no one and nothing can replace that. thats for SURE.can say is a lesson learned or it is an experience. from him, i learned alot of things. not jus only towards relationships, but the importance of the ppl that is around you.
no use crying over spilled milk. and no more crying for me. it wun help and it will jus push my mood down.
i will change. not because of him, but is because of myself and become a better person. and i noe he will wan to see the old xueying to be back. the one who is always so cheerful and not the one who always cry because of small matters. (: xueying will be alright.
Victor, thanks for everything u have done for me. now i wun be able to be with u, u have to take good care of urself and all the best for ur studies and future.i didnt see him for
24 days. thats the longest ever.
i didnt msg him for
12 days. thats the longest ever.
he didnt reply me for
18 days. thats the longest ever.
and we broke up for
43 days.
but all the memories is still there. it didnt fade at all. not at all.
memories are coming back more and more clearly. everythings is like jus happen ytd. it is still fresh in my mind. and of cos, this song. never be replaced. this is a very old song by 1st lady. the first time i heard it is from eunice's blog. that was like in my secondary sch days. but i failed to find that song.
when we are tgh, somehow or somewhere the song appear in my life again. i still can remember i ask him if he is able to find that song for me. but i still manage to get the song from shila (cathay colleague). i saved it on my phone and i will play it when he's walking home with me. and of course will sing it on the way home. "
baby i love u and i'll never let you go" and he will ask me really? of course i said yes. but the second line, i pray hard that is will not happen. "
but if I have to boy I think that you should know"
but it still happened.
kinda of pissed off ytd and posted the short entry.
who will noe that how much i dun wanna leave u, how much i dun wan to let you go.
u open ur doors and led me into ur world. but now u are shutting the door and windows from me. theres no way and nothing i can do about it.
"
But if the day comes that i have to let you go I think theres something i should probably let you know, Enjoyed everday that i spent with you and i will miss you cause im happy that i had you at all. "
and i mean it.
if this question ever makes u wonder, am i happy when im with you? i can give a definate answer.
YES.
back to ytd. cant use the com again because of my bro. but ytd i reach home first before i went out. reach home at around 7 plus and ytd is mooncake cum lantern festival!! lol.. i noe is mid- autumn festival la.. -__-""
cos at msn i wish ppl happy mooncake festival they will like diao lor.. haha..
so i left house at around 8 plus to celebrate mid-autumn festival. dunno wads there to celebrate. lol..
met fy at hougang mall cos she wans to go library and popular to buy books. that will noe happen to me.. hahas.. cos i dun read.. but she say maybe i will love reading books in the future. cos last time she ask mi go running, i die die dun wan but now im so euthu to it lor..
ytd is tues!!!
i was having a very bad sorethroat ytd. but gelare is having half price waffle on every tues. i dunno how many months i never eat that le la.. then we pass by the shop, i was kinda of tempted and we went in to eat!!.. anyway only i eat. lol.
but i can tell u i really regret going in to eat la. the service there is like fish and co. and i will never go back there again. firstly, i order a large waffle, with passionfruit ice cream and caramel toppings. and the person say it will take at least half an hour. i was abit shocked. cos i went to eat so many times but i didnt waited for so long ever. even is on a tues. okay. then nvm.. cos if he say beforehand i might not order and eat something else.. that time is already 8 plus going 9 and i dun wan to wait for so long cos still playing candles later on..
so i took a number and sit down chat with fy.
i can say we chatted for more than half an hour and the waffle is not ready yet. so we peek our head and look at the staff. one of the staff noticed us and ask for the number we are waiting.. i told her then she went back to check and say 20 mins more. i was like. . . . then i say ive already waited for half an hour. but we arent that nasty cos we scare retribution.. hahahss.
okay. 9.50pm my waffle came. and it sucks. i dunno is it because i didnt eat for so long the standard drop or wad. but im suffering instead of enjoying when im eating. lol..
then we didnt play candles in the end. sad~
sat at the swing and tok~
one day we shall find a nice place to tok and chill out! =)
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
if u dun treasure urself, no one can. u have to noe wad u are doing and wad is right and wrong. i shall not explain further. if u really think u wan to carry on ur life like this, i can jus say good luck for ur future.i jus got pissed off.
okay. ytd went back home but never use com at all cos my bro using. as usual, i didnt went home after work. it is always like tat. u wun wan to go home and be alone. meet szesing after work. cos our workplace quite near.. then took bus to suntec to buy donuts.. donuts again!! lol.. i say i dun wan to buy end up i still eat 2. okay.. i was having a very bad sorethroat so i didnt eat double choco. but donuts is fried food la.. doesnt matter. 2 donuts was my dinner ytd. so we went to coffee bean to sit down and tok. and we nearly tok for 3 hours!! but wad we tok is confidentally la.. =x
during our tok, our mood went ups and downs. we still got tok abt our childhood la.. hmmm.. not so far ba.. primary and sec sch life lor.. and thats was the ups.. but when we tok about something elses, our mood went down again.
we sit until the coffee bean close la.. lol.. so we make our way back cos tomolo the both of us still got attachment.. when we are on the way back, we pause at a place.. when they are alot of the capsule machine!! we had our fun there =) how i wish i got more 1 dollar coins.. cos there are so many cute cute things!! okay.. me and szesing get 2 each.. a mario keychain and disney finger puppet. so cute la.. for the mario i got the turtle shell and she got the mushroom.. me and turtle thing so you yuan la.. like my kuma kuma.. and szesing say it sounds like a malay name.. hahas.. then for the disney finger puppet i got eyhore? i dunno how to spell la.. is the blur blur one.. then like blue colour one.. hahas.. szesing got winne the pooh! hahas..
and home~~ =X
so called eat my late dinner or supper la.. eat instant noodles lor.. haiz.. cos was quite hungry ma.. lol..
i remember there's one time we quarrel. not really quarrel.. cos we dun. we dun have incidents that we shout each other back very angrily. is jus that not happy sometimes nia.. and no matter how not happy we are, we will still got home together. not like other couples when they quarrel, straight away split ways. maybe is because we live damn near each other ba.. and im glad that we didnt went home separately on our own. cos it will worsen the relationship even faster. although it still ended. okay.. went back to tat incident, i so called abit not happy and complain to him that he has no time for me. then never msg me quite some time. but he point out to me that wad if he has to go army now then the suitation will be even worse. cos now he no time for me and cant msg me is because sch. then wad if he go army wun it be worse?
at that point of time i dun really agree with him. cos if he really go army now, and is a sooner or later thing la.. but he will at least msg me everynight de ba.. cos there is boring and u will miss the loved ones outside. and of cos i will wait for him when he go army. if thats something i think i can overcome why now he tell me he wan to break up with me becos of exams coming and i cant overcome it? he say exams coming and he need to study for it. exams weeks is only the most up to a month.. that was like very kua zhang le la.. got ppl like few days finish liao.. if in the past i feel that im able to wait for him for 2 year plus when he go army why he not giving me a chance to wait for him for 1 month exam period?
waiting is a very painful experience. and it is even worse when you dun even noe wad u will get after long waitings.
maybe that time im able to say im can wait for the 2 years army is becos u noe that the person u are waiting, his heart still linked to you. but now a month exam period is worse. cos the person has left u and u still wish to wait for him. and of course u noe that his heart might linked to another person already.
im still waiting.
Monday, September 24, 2007
as time goes by, everything will be different. XUEYING will become another person. not the old one that u ever noe.
his name is like everywhere.. i jus finish posting one post, the moment i turn my head i saw his name. VICTOR. although is different surname. he is victor toh. but is like u still see his name... i realise i get very emo when im at work. everything also can link to him.. and although i say if i think of him i wun deny but not like purposely made me think of him but putting his name next to me.. lol.. i'm lame la. lol..
it is so terrible when u care so much for this person yet u noe that, it cant reach him. who will noe that how much i dun wan to leave him? but i cant. i cant be so selfish and keep on giving him troubles. i have to noe how to take care of myself and live my life without him.
i have to find my motive in life and the things i wan to do. even not for the future, but at least for now. everyday im keeping myself busy. at least doing something but not sit at a corner and start to think of him and cried.
i didnt see him for around one mth le. i dunno how long it is going to continues. maybe im not going to see him in the near future already? or perhaps one day in the street we will meet each other again? if we are still tgh, 10 more days will be our 9th months. i noe i sound very stupid to be still counting for the dates. and ppl will ask me why i cant jus let it go. i really still miss him lots and i dun deny. i did say before, theres ppl that can be very wei da that even the person they love doesnt love him/her, but if they can see the other party happy, they will be contented. ive said i cant do such things. or not able to do so. but now im already left with no choice. rather see him not happy, i rather he's happy. that simple.
facts are so cruel. when we are tgh, every month the dates seems so memorable. when we are not, it seems so terrible. like the time is so difficult to pass.
heard of cases when ppl break up, they will not contact each other at all. either one party or both party. another case is they will still contact each other and remain as normal fren. one more is they will still contact each other and they are their best pals for their rest of their life. thats the best ending. but i belong to the first case. im not avoiding him but god jus dun give us a chance to meet. i cant. i noe i cant purposely to go and look for him. it will not help but worsen it.
the fact is, i really cant bear to leave him but i noe i cant.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
omg.. i went running 3 times this week!!! lalalals.. total up 6+11+11= 28 rounds!!! but end up i eat more and more.. lol.. but running helps to keep fit! =) think must keep on increasing the rounds! hahahas.. think i going crazy liao.. lol..
and i suddenly feel like buying new phonee again!!! but now got a model that i wan.. that is sony ericsson W580i.. =x
ytd went to eat fish and co with fy and cyn! but can say there the service really cant make it.. we all order a seafood platter but the prawns was not fully cooked and the fish is so dry la.. then they change jus the prawn and the fish for us. but they should change the whole plate? think confirm wun go there anymore. hahas.. the outlet i dun say le la.. but seems mahatten is nicer.
hahahas.. finally got one day i sleep very very long.. from 5 am to 4 pm.. almost 12 hours!! sian.. later confirm sleep liao!! hmmm.. ytd was quite tired.. but finish work at 1 still go eat supper with fy at kovan there =) reach home at around 3 plus.. thats our supper!! hahas.. the noodles looks abit weird huh.. like everything mix tgh.. hahahs..
when can i go kbox!!!?
Saturday, September 22, 2007
jus wake up nia.. but so surprise.. i didnt wake up because of the alarm. jus wake up naturally. can imagine how tired im ytd that i didnt blog.. hahas.. after 18 hours of work i reach home at 3 plus.. then send report for heekiah then sleep at 5 plus.. and now im able to wake up! haha..
was hugging my turtle (kuma kuma) while i sleep. hahas.. dun usually hug it cos it is too big!! it can occupy half of my bed la.. but i still love it lots. its something that he given me on 2nd month anniversary. he really surprised me when he bought it. cos is only like when we walk past the shop, then i jus casually say i wan and he really bought it for me.. u noe gals always see this see that also say she wan de ma.. but he was sweet~ hmnn.. i still can remember clearly that day we meet before we went to work, so we bought the octopus ball at ps basement, then he say he wan to go toilet ask me wait at ps basement. then i wait lor.. but he went abit long la.. then i still thot wad happen to him.. then, he appear with this big kuma kuma!!! i think he also paiseh la.. a big guy carry one turtle walk around ps. im so happy at that moment and i dunno wad to say to him! it was a sweet memories.
bu neng shuo de mi mi vcd is out! should i buy? really like that dou qing that part. and that show also carry lots of memories with him and i dun forgot. we stay in the rain at cathay level one with him beside me. stay in the rain leh.. romantic hor! but was like very. . . hahahs..
k.. gtg go out soon liao.. later still got to work. . . .
Friday, September 21, 2007
once, there ppl say that u will be dreaming about the things that u are thinking in the day.
once, there ppl say if u still can remember the dream when u wake up, it will not happen.
and if u cant remember the dream, it will happen to u in one day.
these 2 days i slept quite late. around 1 or 2 plus. but i still dream about him. i dream about us getting back together.
i still remember the dream clearly. does that means that me and him forever wun get together anymore? i dunno shld i believe the second sentence not. of course deep inside my heart, i wish that is not true.
3 more hours! well. late for 7 mins.
and today after work still have to send email to heekiah. every fri must send a email to him. for 3 months.
okay. not really phyiscally tired after the run, jus mentally tired. and wad late again!!!! omg! TAN XUEYING! pls dun be late anymore. but today i went out my hse quite early. is jus the bus is TOO SLOW today.. like turtle like tat.. -__-" sian.. very bad impression liao. haiz.. next time must leave hse damn damn early!!
now i feel like eating double choco!! but have to wait until 3 am in the morning then can eat. cos i left in at home. today no time to pack and if i pack to office eat, reach there must eat immediately. cos cold liao not nice de..BEST WHEN PREHEATED IN MIRCOWAVE FOR 8 SECS!!! =)
now is going lunch break liao. after lunch, the time usually will past abit faster? cos is like half of it is gone la.. but i still cant get to my bed and slp. haiz.. i dun wan to like everyday after work then go home.. very sian.. will at least find something to do. even go running =) hahas.. this week i run 17 rounds le la.. dunno whether sun will go again or not.. even though it is my off day but exercise is GOOD for health! =)
and today is fri!! so this is the last day of my week 3!! but fy finish one month liao la.. haiz.. and she will end 2 weeks earlier than me. think the last 2 weeks i will be very very very sian ba.. cos she will return to sch liao.. hmmm.. usually is during attachment u will drift from ur frenz but ended up i see her almost everyday. hahas.. of course ma.. she's my darling. lol..
long time never go watch movie liao.. the last show was ratatoullie la.. hmmm.. 1 week plus? but i jus think that was quite long liao. and i didnt contact him for one week le.
ytd before i go running, i saw the tv series, the gal broke up with the guy cos she saw him hugging his ex gf. then my dad say the guy not good la.. blah blah blah.. then he make mi think that is the guy dui bu qi the gal la.. end up they are jus hugging cos the ex gf so called regret never wait for the guy when he go overseas studies and the ex gf is already married la.. so the truth is the guy didnt really do anything dui bu qi to the gal lor.. then my dad wan to mislead me.. lol..
then the ending is the gal ask for the breakup from the guy. she say that if u are not ready for a relationship then dun get into it. when u are ready, we will see how after that. then she say lets break up. guess wad the guy reply? "im ready for it already, it's just that u dun believe only" then the gal say" i only believe wad i saw with my own eyes." omg!! if is a truth story then the outsiders noe wads happening and they break up because of misunderstandings? it is super not worth it lor.. so must get everything clear and dun misunderstand and assume all the things.
but i only see super little part of the show. so dunno really noe wad they have done in the past. and today is the last episode. but i cant watch. -___-"" anyway i didnt really watch one full episode. always watch abit here and there only.
and my wishlist on the right ---->
i only done one of the things la!! thats i queue for donuts!! lol.. faster get all the things done! =)
Thursday, September 20, 2007
change song!! change to 梁咏琪- 原来爱情这么伤 .. heard this song when we are eating at the hongkong cafe. is a old song but very nice. and love really hurts.
okay. i came back from running. 11 rounds! so incredible! actually is 10 rounds.. but when we wanted to leave fy realise she lost her necklace. so we run one more run to search for it. but in the end the ppl there switch off the lights then cant see liao.. feel sad for her. cos the necklace very long le.. =(
tired. leg sour la.. but i enjoy running. cos really helps to destress!
xueying arh!!! haiz..
okay.. jus finish my lunch. lunch was KFC? lol.. hahas.. called the delievery here.. i only work less than 3 weeks, already called twice le.. i dunno think i will be eating again within one month ba..
my mind is always not at work. is always with him. keep thinkin and thinkin abt him only. now was a bit sad la.. cos jus now listen to fish leong de song. 可惜不是你. petty that is not you. the song was quite sad. its abt a gal that feel that is a petty that the one who will finish her life with her is not this person she once tgh with. and the guy might have already enter another person's life. and he will not be back to u anymore. trying very hard to change for him but yet cant change anything. but she still thank him for been with her. held her hands before. still can feel the gentle side of him. been dote by him before is consider very luckily.
a few days after my broke up with him, once a person told me, if im not willing to wait for him, jus leave him alone. if im willing to wait for him, i should also leave him alone. from the day we broke up, it's already one month plus. it doesnt sound very long, but the things i have been thinking, has already exceed the things i have been thinking when i was still with him. things ended up this way, i keep on thinking and thinking. is it my fault? or both of us? will he be back? will he re-enter my life again? but now the fact is not whether he will re-enter again, but will he enter another's ppl life? there cases of very wei da de ai qing. that is as long as the person u love is happy, u will be contented le. i cant be so wei da. i longed to become his happiness instead of someone else. i wish that im the person that can bring him happiness even i noe that it is already in the past and NOT now.
but i shld be contented that he ONCE love me lots. and now i will have to survive on the past memories. all the things he have done for me. all the time will spend together. MEMORIES.
hahas.. imagine i jus finish my double choco and apple cinnamon in the office!!! i really made that as my breakfast. okay. everyone noe i always reach work place on the dot. and always have the risk of late by one min. but i made an effort and wake up earlier! sound so impressive ya.. hahas.. okay.. not only im not late today, i still have time so surf net and pre heat my donut and pack them into boxes today! lalalalas.. and im not as tired as i thot i will. cos ytd reach home so late today confirm tired de.. but maybe is because got DONUTS and today is thurs!! 2 more days will be my weekend and i always looking forward to my SUN OFF DAY!!!!! thats the only day that i can sleep liao siao la.. but i usually wun also..
okay. tomolo will be a super busy day for me. will be working for 9am to 3am. inbetween of 1h and 45 mins break. well.. it shldn be a problem. lol.. got try before working 10 days straight le ma.. then now is the turn to try workin super long hours. but fy tried that weeks ago le la..
i wonder why he likes double choco so much?? =X but it is really nice.. especially is heated in the microwave first. the choco will meltzzZZ inside ur MOUTH la.. OMG!
anyway, ytd jus posted the photos of the donuts but didnt say how much i buy!! from the pic, the 2 box of 6 is MINE!! and fy bought 1 box of 12!! in total is 24 donuts right? 15 of them is DOUBLE CHOCO la!! and 5 is apple cinnamon! okay. i bought 6 double choco, 4 apple cinnamon. so ppl can guess how many double choco did fy buy? ans:9. weird number. hahas.. so 12 of my donuts, i give cyn and alvin one each. and i eaten 4 already. so my house still left 6!!!!
it is like having primary sch maths test which they tested on how many apple did who give who so who and who left how much. lol.. i jus change the apples to donuts. zzz. -____-" lame.
hmmm.. now is think that buy donuts are NOT special anymore. lol.. cos the Q is like getting shorter and shorter. and almost everybody have tried it before le. if only they can launch in new FLAVORS! cos ytd while i was chosing, not much flavors really tempted me. i jus chose back the same flavours which i've tried.
and i want to go OVERSEAS!!!! anywhere also can. ytd listen to cyn on where so go so tempted la.. wan to try one time of going overseas with frenz!!! but firstly need to have $$ first. so now will be more budget! and work more and earn more!!! ytd i jus withdraw 100 bucks from my bank la. -___-"" sad. dinner 20, donuts 12. thats more than one day of my attachment pay. -___-" really must save liao. cant anyhow anyhow spend. can imagine i work for cathay for 1 year plus, but i dun see im saving any money!!! althought i can have alots of fun la.. like last time can sing overnight k, watch midnights shows, chiong cab home, everyday late night supper at hougang green mac (which closed down le. lol) now is always have GOOD FOOD! hmmm.. like sat have mahantten, ytd delifrance, donuts and donuts. hahahs.. totally quite different. cos now dun really have chance to sing k and watch movie with cathay peeps. everyone is so busy.
okay. but like the previous 2 weeks nyp peeps got organize movie outing!! which i got go when they watch ratatouille. the first time they watch hairspray which i nv go! sad.. cos i already promised my mum to watch 881 with her. and i watch that show twice. hahas.. im so weird. the first time i watch i didnt cry. but the second time i did. WEIRD HOR.
okay ppl, lets go out more often!! but how to save when i always go out. zzzzzz..
hahas.. i finally went to Q for donut factory le!!! hmmm.. actually plan to Q at suntec de.. cos the Q over there is always very fast and short... but me and fy wan to go raffles city shopping centre to withdraw money first.. so we end up Q at there.. cos we see the Q was quite short.. but generally suntec is still faster.. we waited for 30 mins and i FINALLY got my donuts!!!! YUM.. gonna make that for my breakfast tomolo! =)
so we went over to suntec and eat delifrance. which fy say she long time never eat liao.. then cyn and alvin came and join us.. we tok at delifrance till the place close la.. so pai seh..
then we walk around at suntec city..
and went we past the hongkong cafe, we decided to go in and drink TEA. hahas.. end up we eat mango snow ice and alvin had he's late dinner.
this is before and after. hahahas.. (cyn dropped the icecream!!)
is already 12 plus so we me and fy have to catch 147 to go home.. where cyn and alvin can walk home cos their house so near town la.. we cross the road like siao. lol..
okay. we catch the last bus. lucky us =) home sweet home!
on the bus, i though of him. how he always send me home despite is so late and he's so tired. imagine u need to send someone home everyday is NOT easy. and is really NOT easy. he always send me home before he went back. and everytime we take company cab home, he will alight at my house and sent me home then he walked back. he can jus sit on the cab until it reach his house. which i dun deny he really care abt me when he's still with me. and especially NOT easy for him when he always have sch the next day that he have to wake up early. it has been HARD on him.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
omg. lol.. im late for 1 min for work. zzz.. -____-""" haiz..
anyway, something made me remind of him again.
that is:
while i was eating pao. ( noe wads that?) those char siew pao etc...
i remember he always went to my house spc there and buy honey chicken pao de.. together with one peach tea or ice lemon tea. pokka one. anything also can link back to him. jus because i buy one pao back to the office and eat?
i dunno. izzit im afraid that i will forget all the things he have done for me? the more u dun think, it will jus naturally came to ur mind. even is jus a small action. when im blogging, i dun remember i blog about the happy incidents with him. only when he didnt contact me very long or im not happy i will blog in the past. so from my past entries, will never see wad he have done for me. which i regret i didnt write in the past. if not i will have more memories. now is all based on wad is in my head and i have to wait for it to strike though my mind once again before i remember anything.
when we watch movies tgh, i didnt blog.
when we went out tgh, i didnt blog.
when we went out late tgh, i didnt blog.
when we went to play happy tgh, i didnt blog.
when we went to eat dinner tgh, i didnt blog,
when we jus meet for a while cos we miss each other too much, i didnt blog.
when we went to work tgh, i didnt blog.
when he send me to sch, i didnt blog.
when he send me to work, i didnt blog.
when we went to eat supper tgh, i didnt blog.
when we went to buy things tgh, i didnt blog.
and there are ALOT ALOT things more i didnt blog.
he have done so much for me but wad i did was keep complaining that it is not enough. i think i own him too much. which wad i can do is actually jus leave him alone. last fri, 14 september 2007 was the last day that i msg him. to inform him about the cathay outing. till now is only 5 days. the last day he replied my msg is on 8 september 2007. i msg him on a midnight. though is was jus a few msgs, it means alot. and the last time i ever see him, is on 2 september. the day before my attachment. i went over to cathay and pass something to him. i go over there, not wanting anything, jus purely because i wan to see him. but it make me realise that he rather i didnt go and find him.
well.. i guess im late again.. something wrong with my phone that no matter how many times my mum called me, it jus dun ring. lol.. seems that a new phone might be more important then the things that i wanted. anyway, my elder bro jus brought a new phone.. argg.. super rich.. zzz.. anyway, he used an -__-" excuse to buy a new phone. cos both my 2 bro are using song ericsson K800i.. then my second bro jus lost him phone so.. my elder buy new phone then pass his K800i to my second bro.. nth to do with my right? can only see them take new phone which my one can throw into rubbish bin liao. faintz.
suddenly i feel that u drift more and more apart from me. u like disappear from the world, or jus disappear from my sight. i dun get a chance to noe how u are doing. are u fine? everythings alright? i dunno. strictly speaking, i really DUNNO.
so weird. these 2-3 days im extremely weird.
keep thinking abt him. WHY? i dunno. even im on the bus sleeping, i still think of him. thinking that last time he used to sit beside me, giving me his shoulder so that i can lie on it. but i always dun. i dunno why. this is like the grass jelly drink incident. WEIRD. human are always not satisfied with wad they have and now they are regretting so much. and i really do. if im contented with wad i have, we will have more happy memories. and i can say, IT IS DAMN LOTS MORE. but no one will be contented with wad they have. they always wanted more and wan things to be better.
i dunno wad i will talk to him if i have the chance to see him again. although i really noe that i dun have the chance. it is very pathetic that u wan to see this particular person so much but u dun dare to look for him. cos u noe he dun wan u to do so. even i go right to his face, i wun noe wad i shld say and he will have nth to tok to me. so why i still wan to see him? thats why i say im weird and stupid. can predict wad are the things that going to happen next yet still think abt him.
im getting more and more nagging and long winded.
OMG!!! jus received msg from jonna that result are out!! well.. expected result -_-". hmmm.. while im rushing my project im still with him and thats my MEMORIES with him! nothing can replace that. and of course, no one can replace him.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
i jus went for 2.4km run + WALK again.. and thurs im going again. hmmm.. every run will only take less than half an hour. but it can help me relieve some stress.. it is a good way to relieve stress cos u will feel different after a run. initally i thought of using another method to relieve the stress that im having recently. SECRET. cos i realise its not worth it and end up i will have more stress. so RUNNING is a better way. tired. dunno tml can wake up not. better sleep early today. and tml is another boring day. haiz..
xu3yiNg is weird again!
okay. i cried for him again.
i dunno. at work wad damn bored. so decided to pick up my phone and clear my msgs cos memory going full liao. almost 80 to 90 percent de msg is from him. from the day we got tgh, we have been keep on msging each other. it is full of memories. ppl tend to forgot the good points of other ppl and only remember the bad points. thats wad i have been doing.
all the msgs includes our sweet memories, quarrel, unhappiness. but sweet memories stands out. he really care alot for me that time. and he did ONCE love me lots. i always say how much i still love him now, even for now. but he really did the same thing in the past. of cos now i cant ask for the past him to come back. only can say i didnt treasure him while he's still beside me. if anyone ask me if i have to chance to rechoose again, will i still be with him?
my previous post was: if ppl noes that they will break up, why in the first place they wan to be tgh? ive got the answer. the answer is: MEMORIES. u might be tgh with alot of ppl and end up all of them is not ur mr right, but nothing beats memories. and it is something that cant be taken away. me and him got MEMORIES. mi and him might forget abt it one day. he might already did. but not me. and no one get take it away from me. most importantly, he did ONCE love me lots. thats something i cant deny.
and i guess my answer for the question is obvious. YES.cos by looking at the past msg, will be able to tell that no matter how busy he is, he still willing to spend his time with mi. but im jus too greedy. always think that it is not enough. thats why we ended up quarrel. i jus failed to understand the reason. i think ppl will have to lose it, then they noe how to treasure. no more sorry no more apologize. cos i noe it wun change anything. no matter how regret i am now. i can only carry on with my life.
=( tired. very tired early in the morning.. dunno why today is especially tired. sat on the bus also can fall asleep. ( which i usually wun) maybe not enough sleep ytd. another thing that cause my bad mooodd is my STUPID phone la.. early in the morning i see only left half batt which ytd night before i sleep is full batt! i think the batt spoil liao.. everything on the phone is SPOIL! ARGG.. then i dunno how many times it auto switch off jus in a morning already.. i think got one day i will bei this phone qi si. -_-"
okay. now is 9.46am, is a tue, is a working day. but i still haven started work yet. lol.. and my eyes hurts. keep closing and opening. cos i cant be caught sleeping in the OFFICE!! if not really die arh.
opps. i think ytd im too tired liao.. didnt really blog much. hmmm.. continued ytd.
hey guess wad, haha.. yihong went to army liao. lol.. after chongwei went in on a sat and now is yihong's turn. when will it be ZEN LIU ZHAN HONG?? hahahas.. lol.. think if he see this post he will kill me la.. well.. it will be like so bored if everybody go army =( but no choice. its something they MUST go. hahas.. and i believe that guys who finish army, will at least be more mature than those who haven went. so faster let these 2 years plus past and all my friends will have finish their army. wooah..
everyday go play swing is like almost a routine life for me la.. and okay, i've decided already, every thurs will be a running day for me!! incredible sia.. why would i come up with this intelligent decision leh? hahahs.. cos everyday at the office, 12 pm went for lunch, then almost everyday will buy something back to eat for teabreak. then the whole day is sittin at the office. at this rate i will be like junlong la.. hahas.. cos he say he increase 5 kg will he's having his attachment!! omg, so i must exercise cos i cant resist the good food over here!!
but i still hope that my attachment end soon. cos is tiring to work 9 to 6.15 everyday. zzz..
anyway, jus discuss with fy wads the good points and bad points while having attachment. hmmm.. good point is u dun have to bring work home to do. cos everything will be done in the office. then after work if go out and play, it is really go out and play. dun have to think about still got which p board haven do, which model haven do.. lol..
but sch is MORE fun!!! cos all the fren are there la..
and the difference between attachment and sch is attachment u will have allowance, sch dun have -_-" it might not be alot but it is still $$ hahahahahahas..
it is like such long post hope it's not boring! hohohohohoh..
okay. as usually. towards the ending of my post i will usually tok about him. hmmm.. i jus wonder, can couple break up already still be friends? ppl always say they can, but when things really happen on themselves, they cant. humans are weird. lol.. for my case, when im still single, i say i can. when it happen, i say i cant. cos its like the person u love so much and u guys been tgh how can u two say be friends and thats it. it is like so impossible. but now, i will say i can again. cos i realise no matter wad i do, things wun be the same as before and i dun like to deny things. so im willing to face him. no matter as friend or jus colleagues. and if ppl wan to break up in the first place, why they wan to get tgh? humans are WEIRD. lol. btw im one of them. -_-"
WHEN CAN I EAT MY DONUT FROM DONUT FACTORY!!?? =D
anyway, the donut i brought from my hse there, is quite nice too! but not as nice as donut factory la. =X
hmmm.. really wan to eat donuts!! especially from donut factory.. but no time to go Q.. haiz.. so jus now went to my hse there and buy.. haven eat yet.. dunno how it taste like.. =p
Monday, September 17, 2007
zzz.. i think my phone going to spoil liao!!! sad =( it is like so weird la! i got 2 icons on messaging, 2 icons of organizer.. then my phonebook disappear.. the other organiser dunno replace which one.. then is like no matter which messaging u choose, is still create message all that.. WHERE IS MY PHONEBOOK ICON??? haiz.. this phone i didnt even buy for 1 year la!!! and i only drop ONCE! or more la.. hahaha.. but shldnt be so easy spoil liao ma.. zzzzz.. omg!!! must i buy a new one?=) lol.. got new phone is happy la, but my pocket will burn one big big hole sia.. stupid phone.. arrgg!!! but change new phone got one thing i dun like. that is my messages cant TRANSFER!! haiz.. how!!! hmmm.. althought i lost my phonebook icon, but it shld be wun affect the general usage of phone ba.. luckily is not the messaging icon gone.. if not i will faint sia.. cos if i dun have the phonebook icons i still have my shortcut key which im used to it le.. but messaging icon is so important to me.. HAHAH.. cant live a day without messaging.. lol.. sian.. everytime i look at my phone confirm sian half way de!
omg, thinking of work more and buy NEW phone!!! =D which i change my phone less than 1 year.. like only half a year? sian..
and szesing help my remember that i lost which icon. APPLICATIONS. thats all the games all that.. LOL.. for no reason take away my phonebook and game for WAD?
although i dun play handphone games liao.
2 more hours to GO! =D
yeah! today is the third week of my attachment liao! but it is only the first day. lol.. and i have been doing weird weird thing liao.. hahahs.. hmmm.. really have an urge of eating donut factory de DONUTS!!! but cant find ppl to go.. sad.. sad.. planning to go alone? sounds lonely but IM NOT! hahas.. even though now i need to Q alone but i believe i will find
someone that is willing to Q with me in the future! =) positive thinking ya.. lol.. faintz*
but how much shld i buy??? is either 6 or 12? 6 seems too little but 12 seems too much!!!!! cos last time i buy one dozen i totally cant finish it! hmmm.. left around 3 to 4? but if i buy 6 it is too little!!!!! omg! donuts~~~
i used to hate donuts lots lots. becos of some incidents. but now i cant resist.. hahahas.. weird.. and gals are always so shan bian de.. (frequent minded?)
* the someone i never say must be a guy wor.. can be gals too! hahahahs.. sounds abit weird la..Sunday, September 16, 2007
i wan to watch hairspray! since alot of ppl say that it's NICE! no chance and no ppl to watch.. =( and now only left a few places that still screen hairspray nia.. sad..
and i suddenly have an urge to eat DONUTS!! thats very weird of me.. hahas.. hmmm.. but jus feel like eating that!! especially apple cinnamon from donut factory!!!!!!! FAVORITE! when can i find to go
and queue for it??????? haiz..
lalalas.. reach home from work liao.. ytd have a tiring day but still can wake up at noon.. suprising.. hahas.. anyway, today is hou jun's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD FREN!! hahas.. noe him 5 to 6 years? pretty long liao.. well.. go out bo jio.. hahahs.. jk nia..
so went out at around noon to meet fy for dinner. and we manage to eat mahatten? hahas.. cos ytd we wan to eat fish and co or mahatten but in the end both places full house so cant eat.. then zen say is all becos of my fault and im fated no chance to eat de.. LOL.. but i eat it today!!! PROOF!
then went to work. lol.. my hair look weird weird de.. hahah.. maybe still haven get used to it.. well.. today not workin at level 1 anymore!!! even though turtle always say i got level 1 face! lol.. hmmm.. but i still got go down and break the ppl there.. so consider i got do level 1 too? hahahas..
waiting for cabby! hougang pls! =)
finally. reach home sweet home and tomolo is my OFF DAY!!! hahahs.. finally got one day no need work!!! can sleep all i want! =)
jus thot of ur birthday tis year at alvin's hse. we have fun that time. but its in past tense already.
okay. at my blog i still tok abt him, but not i wan to change anything or wad. its jus that i dun wan to escape and deny.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
today is the cathay outing!! =D but not much ppl turn up.. blame on the organizer ba = mi. =( hahahas.. cos dun really noe wad to do also.. hmmm.. end up only feng yi zen and mi meet first.. then after that we meet up with wanching shing yeen and yihong then zen went back.. zzz.. 5 ppl? lol.. well.. those ppl who didnt turn up, MC is required.. lame.. hmmm.. alvin didnt come cos he went for chalet, chong wei cos he tomolo going tekong liao.. hahas.. cyn she doing something to her hair? then victor never reply. zzz.. no comment for that.
so, we went to buy tickets for no reservations. nice show! so the show is at 9.10.. we plan to eat dinner first.. but we walk alot of place also full house. actually we wan to go glass house and eat fish and co de.. but i think i suai ba.. that why till now i still haven eat over there before! lol..
hmmm.. so thats my dinner!
after that we meet up with wc sy yh, actually we thot of singing k, but was kinda of ex to sing on weekend. so we decided to drop that idea..
then, we walked from cine to NEWTON!
omg, not really that far, but me and fy is walked from dhoby gaunt cathay to cine, to newton? hahas.. leg suan liao..
we end up eating supper over there and went home. next time must plan more fun things!! and more outing, more ppl turn up!!!!!
dying soon.. zzzz.. nights ppl!
Thursday, September 13, 2007
omg! omg! i cant believe it.. hahas.. jus went for a run after my attachment? hahas.. like something impossible for me to do.. hahas.. but i did =) hmmm.. run + WALK 2.4 km.. hahahas.. i caps the word that i think i did more.. lol..hmmmm.. then after tat went for dinner then go dang xiu qian!! =) its something that i wan to do very long liao.. happie!! i still wan to go!!!and ppl! lets go out tgh!!!!!!!!! hmmm.. starting from the ppl i knew de longest.. pai ming bu fen xian hou.. hahaspss: xiaoyou, eunice, candy, xinyi, sophia, nazi party! nyp: all the id ppls!! jonna nichelle!!cathay: fengyi, shingyeen, wanching, cynthia, chongwei, zhaohong, yihong, alvin, victor!!sorry if i miss out u!! but u can always ask mi out!!
okay.. ytd reach home but never blog.. ha.. its not i dun have time.. but is jus dunno wad to write.. now is the second week of my attachment and tml is fri!! thats means weekend is coming liao.. hahas.. but sat still got work la.. i realise that u cant force urself to do something.. especially is comes to relationship. if the person doesnt love u anymore, u also cant force the person to come back to you. for me is im trying to force myself dun think anymore. but it is said easier than done. the more i ask myself not to think, the more im thinking. which i think i will let nature take it course. maybe as time goes by, it will fade off. i have to make all the facts right. he's not coming back anymore. i've lost all the rights to concern about him. im nobody to him anymore. thats wad i have to make myself understand. frankly speaking, i will still think of the time we spent together. and i dun deny. if he really past through my mind once in a while, i dun deny. even we are not tgh anymore, but memories are always there. it might fade as time goes by and disappear, but i will not deny that it once exist. jus now went for lunch with the ppl there, then i brought back a cup of grass jelly drink. at first i didnt really think of anything. but when i finishing the drink, i suddenly thot of him. it is jus very weird. it jus suddenly strike through my mind and memories came back at the second. i remember that he likes that drink and he always bring mi to the stall near paradiz and acc him drink. i always reject his offer but i dunno why. its not that i dun like to drink or wad, but the few times he bring me over there, he will ask me if i wan anything and i will confirm shake my head. im weird. dunno wad im thinking at that time. okay, it might be no point thinking of wad im thinking at that time already. cos he will never bring me there anymore. not anymore.i blog, i tok about things btw us, not because it will change anything. its jus a way that i can express myself. xueying is weird.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
omg! today late again la!! then the report coming out liao.. zzz.. wake up at around 8.30.. then pia cab down still late for few minutes.. zzz.. somemore the cab fare 11.80 la.. ex.. =x but then the uncle charge mi 11.50.. cos he take wrong route.. lol.. in the end i late even longer.. lol.. sian.. worked 1 and half week then late for 2 days liao. cham.. better dun late anymore!! now even worse.. mi now blogging at the office? omg.. hahas.. later go home continue.. hahas..xueying will be alright. na de qi, jiu yao fang de xia. =)
jus change to a happy song! not a sad sad one le.. ai shang ai de weidao by angela. but no time to change the lyrics.. jus went to watch rata with jonna szesing effie jiewei jiaxiang vincent willy at cine.. then was sitting at the second row la.. zzzz... but still quite alright.. then after that walked from taka to paradiz with jiaxiang.. cos taking 147 home.. i think is i old liao.. walk so little tired.. haha.. but we try out the crossroad? hahaha.. is every half an hour, then the junction at the swensen there, u can cross diagonally? haha.. quite fun.. never try before.. =) but we waited 7 mins for that =D lol.. well.. as usually.. take 147 home.. but today got a bit traffic jam.. zzzz...can u imagine how bored im at attachment? hahas..
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
i will change the habit. but i dunno wad i will become.
Monday, September 10, 2007
im so sorry. other than continue saying this word, i dunno wad i can do anymore. i cant find anyword to describe how am feeling anymore. i jus feel that im been abandon. im someone that nobody care at all. perhaps i deserve all this ending. im so sorry that i always lose my temper for nothing.im so sorry that i always didnt care about how you feelim so sorry for the hurtful words i've saidim so sorry for always pushing the blame to youim so sorry for causing so many troubles to youim so sorry for disturbing you all the timesim so sorry for blaming you didnt care enough for me. (which you have already done alot)IM SO SORRY.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
hmmm.. ppl.. now is 6.40am. and im still awake. anyway i jus reach home 4 and a half hours ago. but i have no sense of feeling to sleep. i also dunno why.. is like so weird. got time to slp but dun wan to sleep.. jus got back from work at around 2 plus.. actually can consider i working 6 days a week but im not feeling tired? everyday after attachment work i dun feel like going home then jus wan to stay out? not becos i dun like my house or wad. but i jus feel like staying out. even im alone.to you: i jus feel very sorry for the things i've done and i've say. i know things ended up this way is all my fault and i deserve this kind of ending. i dun deserve a person like you. im jus not good enough. and i know is not that i say one sorry it will change anything. i cant be the one that bring happiness to you. all i did was giving you troubles and troubles. im so sorry about that. im like so useless that i cant even do anything for you. and i cant remember wad i have done for you when we are tgh. i wan to do things now but i noe it is too late. no matter wad i say, it will not change anything anymore. jus another time, im sorry.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
yeah.. tomolo is fri and then weekend liao.. finally finish one week of attachment.. hahas.. upload new song.. hmmm.. this song got one sentence doesnt suit me.. "離開你那麼傻 可以後侮嗎" "Li kai ni na me sha Ke yi hou hui ma" "It was foolish to leave you Wonder if I will regret it" my case is i dun have a choice to say no. so can i regret anything? maybe is regret that im jus not good enough for him. thats why he choose to leave me.
Monday, September 03, 2007
Sunday, September 02, 2007
how i wish that u will tag on my board like how u did to others. ppl pls dun try to fake it. thanks.
jus reach home!! again. dun feel like sleeping.. everytime there are so many things on my mind that makes mi dun wan to sleep at all.. well, wake up at 11 plus in the morning and went to the bank.. but realise that the bank near my house was closed down.. so acutally i decided to went back home de.. but i saw 72 jus nice come la.. so i board the bus and go hougang mall.. zz..waited and waited so long at the bank.. zzz.. then still need to go home and change before meeting fy.. =) brought a formal shirt and pants today.. sian.. everyday spend spend spend.. somemore tomolo still wan to go comex.. maybe buying a mp3 or mp4 player.. spend money again. sian but happy.. lol.. how i wish that everything no need money then can get.. lol.. not possible la..after shopping, as usual worked on a saturday.. lol.. as usual doing level 1.. but the worse thing is the air con at level is not working!!! and i can say is damn damn damn HOT!!! and stuffy!! me and hui wen was like sweating all the way.. dunno how the afternoon staff they can tahan.. cos afternoon confirm HOTTER!! going to faint at level 1 le la.. then there like sauna like tat lor.. omg!!hmmm.. well.. saw alot of ppl today.. hahah.. all came and watch movie.. make mi sad only.. i work they watch movie.. lol.. got chongwei, alvin and lucas lor.. but they all came at different timings.. hahas.. blah blah blah..after my sauna torturing finally can have bit of aircon and it super wonderful la! hahas..so. . . after that went over to cine! watch dead silence.. strange show and i dun understand abit here and there.. hahas.. i jus hope that i can get abit of attention from you. i noe i'm stupid to keep on thinking this way. but i jus cant help it. maybe one day i will stop, or maybe it will carry on till the day i die? obviously i noe u are avoiding me yet i hope i can get a bit of attention from you. and there are so many things that im not confirm yet. is the feeling still there? or you have jus forgotten every single things we have done together, every single bit of memories that we once have? will it helps by everyday dropping a small message for you or it will jus make things worse? even though i dun even noe u will see it at all. i noe u are busying with your studies and i really hope u can do well for it even u feel that it has nothing to do with me.all i can do is every now and then, doing something hoping i can get some respond for it. even the chances are very very slim.
Saturday, September 01, 2007
yeah! finally had shopping after so long.. hmmm.. meet fengyi my darling to shop for formal clothes cos i going for my attachment liao.. jonna also came along.. to join in the shopping craze.. hahas.. well.. was hungry so we walk here walk there thinking wad to eat then jonna suddenly say why not we eat pizza hut then mi and fengyi's eyes like blink! hahahs.. cos we 3 have the urge to eat pizza hut.. hahas.. after dinner started our SHOPPING!! hmmm.. started off with jonna.. hahas.. she saw a pizza hut shirt and she was so tempted la.. in the end i also brought a mario t shirt =)
mario shirt =)then went to buy a formal jacket and fengyi buy pants.. end end end.. went to heeren.. but realize alot of shop over there has closed down liao.. also dunno why.. next went to cine and me and jonna brought a jacket.. normal one.. abit side track and jonna keep thinking of buying something to match her pizza hut shirt and she say she going to wear it tomolo.. hahas.. somemore she is going for the scanteak presentation la.. hahas..hmmm.. after think we realise alot of shop has closed already even today have late night shopping?? lol.. and we went back home cos fengyi tomolo still got attachment..i dunno why u are still avoiding me. jus hope that u will be able to face or see me.
